Monday, May 01, 2017

unlucky streak?

It feels like everything is going wrong lately and no matter what I do, I can't win. Or maybe I just have a chip on my shoulder? Maybe I'm still hung up on the fact that I'm not conventionally attractive? But I am trying so goddamn fucking hard to be what I'm supposed to be and it's still not working. Or maybe that's just my imagination? It doesn't matter because, either way, I lose. 

And after all this time, am I really still doing the whole passive-aggressive blogging thing? It's literally been ten years ... What a terrifying thought. But writing (or blogging or venting or whining to the only entity I can) feels good and necessary. I feel lonely and isolated. Sometimes I feel independent and strong. But mostly I just want to tell someone about my weird dreams in the morning. The internet's good, but I dunno if it's that good.