I've been absent for over a month. Have you missed my mindless musings? I've been busy participating in real life and real life doesn't really lend itself to stories of lunacy and shitting the bed. I've been going to college and reading and eating regularly, if not healthily, and I've been socialising. With all that and sleep, it's hard to find time to write or indeed get up to the kind of mischief that's worth writing about. But a week ago, something wonderful happened. Something worth mentioning. Something that is nothing but a catalyst for the self-destructive part of my psyche to kick in. I got my heart chewed up and spit out. Or eaten and regurgitated. Probably the latter. It's more apt.
But I didn't self-destruct. Weird. I'm no stranger to heart-break (in fact, I could give a guided tour) and my go-to gurrrl in dealing with heart-break is usually some self-mutilation, a lot of alcohol, and someone else's penis. Not very healthy. Or helpful. This time though, I woke up the morning after the night before and I put on some lipstick and I went to college. Somehow, miraculously, and without me even noticing the transition, I've reached a point in my life where I can just get on with my life.
And the break-up is not wonderful in a wonderful way but it's something worth writing about. My first instinct was to live-blog the situation, complete with relevant quotes, pictures, and Youtube videos. But I didn't. Because it's been done. Mostly by me. Go back through the archives of this blog and you'll find heart-ache in all its flavours. This time it tastes a bit sour but it's nothing new. The circumstances are different but it's all the same really. Just one more person who said, “I never loved you.” So boring.
I've been coping with this break-up by doing the same things I do every other day: get up, shower, breakfast, make-up, college, friends, home, dinner, college work, read, sleep. Throw in an occasional pint (for purely social and not self-destructive purposes), a healthy dose of crying followed by belly-laughing, gate-crash a couple of parties, and see David O'Doherty perform live in Limerick and that's pretty much my post-relationship life in a nutshell.
My mother always says that when one door closes, another one opens. Lots of doors have opened for me in the past week. There's a couple of blogging projects in the pipeline, I've made new friends and grown closer to other ones, and, most importantly, I've learned that I can cope. Who knew? This break-up is worth noting not because it is the be-all and end-all of my young adulthood but because I learned things. I learned that I'm capable of doing life. Right in the butthole. In any and all circumstances.