Monday, June 11, 2012


I came across a Tumblr blog today called Fat Girls Skinny Jeans and it was just what I needed to see. Check it out for gorgeous chubby girls sporting sexy figure-hugging jeans.

So I have no job. We have established this through countless posts in which I complain about not having a job. I occasionally get paid for blogging and sometimes through kind donations from my lovely family. Last week, I managed to score a gig cleaning my neighbour’s house for a not unreasonable €100. Needless to say, I spent the lot in Penneys in about an hour. Among the necessities like Babywipes and copious pairs of tights, I bought two pairs of jeans.

I don’t wear jeans. The last time I bought a pair of jeans was Christmas 2011 in a charity shop. Within a week, I’d cut them up to make shorts and that was that. Last summer, horrified at my lack of jeans, my brother bought me a decent pair of Levi’s. They’re straight-legged and they fit fine but I just can’t bring myself to wear them. Every time I spot them in the drawer, I think longingly of taking a scissors to them, knowing well I’d wear them if they lost most of their material.

I used to wear skinny jeans when I was sixteen and skinny. I had a really nice pair from River Island that I just lived in. But I got fatter and lazier and really into dresses. Dresses are comfy. Dresses are cute. Dresses don’t do much in the line of accentuating your beer belly (or cider belly, in my case), such is their magic.

When the shorts and tights combo started coming into vogue again a couple of years ago, I got on board. It seems a trifle odd though, since denim shorts don’t offer the practicality of jeans, but they do do that lovely thing of squeezing your love handles in such a way as to proudly show the world. Doesn’t make sense. And I’m not logical. I don’t know.

I’ve been sporting the shorts and tights thing for a while now and it’s gotten kind of boring. Real life jeans were just the change my tired wardrobe needed. I’ve been told that skinny jeans wouldn’t look particularly appealing on my figure but I don’t care: I like skinny jeans and who cares if they look terrible? I know plenty of girls my size and bigger who wear skinny jeans and maybe I’m mental but I think they look fine. And fiiiiiine. You know?

Anyway, I’ve already got my ghetto look planned, complete with over-sized 80s-style jumper and gold Nike’s. And with all my money gone, it’s back to the breadline! Perhaps my ghetto look is not altogether unfitting…

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