I have this habit of idealising boys in my mind. I’ll start to like someone for one reason or another (usually just one single, silly reason) and I’ll build on that. If I never speak to them again, I’ll add to the list of reasons why they’re lovely and I love them. I’ll decide that they’re good-looking and probably clever and look at their confidence! They’re so articulate and eloquent! I love it! And we have similar interests. We like the same music. Oh my gosh, you like Father Ted too? Wow. We’re obviously meant to be together. And then I end up talking to them by some twist of fate and I realise that they’re actually a prick.
This happens way too often. But I like finding out that they’re a prick or they’re boring or rude or just not my kind of person. Because it means I can stop obsessing about them. Of course, then I just move onto a new infatuation. Who will also turn out to be a prick. It is a nasty habit of mine to put boys I don’t know on pedestals. Usually when I get to know them, I don’t like them at all. But, if nothing else, it keeps my mind occupied.
I don’t know why I’m telling you this fun fact about myself. I guess I just felt like sharing.
I am a weirdo. I’m obsessive and immoderate and indiscreet. Help.