Wednesday, September 01, 2010

happiness/ sadness.

It's actually not even funny how much you wreck my head and ruin my buzz. Every time I talk to you and try to be nice, I end up wanting to kill you. I give up. Weirdo. I know I was a dickhead before, but you should move on. Things are not as bad as you pretend they are. You have a fresh start so why on earth are you still acting like a miserable bastard? I know some of your future plans have been put on the backburner for a while but that’s no reason to act the maggot. I think you’re just that way towards me though. Like you want to make me feel guilty. Sorry, but I don’t. My life is good. And I don’t need or want to rub it in your face. I have lovely things in my life that I don’t tell you about. I know you’d taint them anyway. You’d say something horrible and obnoxious. I’d get angry at you but it wouldn’t matter because you’d have already said it and smeared the metaphorical faeces that is your cynicism all over my happiness.

I think you were right before. I think you did do this. You are always so phenomenally fucking miserable. I suffer from depression and I’m not half as bad as you are. I have Bad Days and I cry but I am nothing to how dreary and bleak you are every day of the week. Even when good things happen, you’re not happy. Unimpressed, indifferent. Cynical. Miserable. You could try to be happy. Try. And I am not one to suggest that true happiness is as easy as that, but I do think a lot of the warmth people have comes from wanting to be happy, you know? Not just wanting to be happy, but wanting and being willing to do something about it. If you adopt a positive attitude, things will get better. You can at least try.

That’s always people’s advice to me on my Bad Days. And it’s impossible to act upon. Cheer up. Think positive. Look at all the good things in your life. Not possible. Sorry. But on my Good Days, I try. I aim to look at things in a positive way, to look on the bright side. It could be worse. What harm! Everything happens for a reason. Maybe some of you reading this will think it’s bullshit, that it’s too idealistic an approach to life, but I sleep just fine at night and I’m happier for having a positive attitude. And sometimes I really do think it’s as simple as that: life is your attitude to it.

DeterminedYou Pretend

Each Morning

Whatever Comes NextYour Habit

3 comments:

  1. you have to be like the sadest person in the world. i dont mean to offend or anything, but like all your posts are sad, which makes me sad. i read all my blogs though an rss reader on my phone, but it doesnt show the name of the blogger, but i always know if its you, since the start of all sad...

    hehe, i used sad too many times, even though my volcabulary is too poor to properly express it (angsty maybe?)

    anyway cheer up

    ReplyDelete
  2. i didn't think this post was sad? and my last post was happy. really happy. don't read if it makes you sad, like.

    ReplyDelete
  3. your blog makes me happy even if they are sad because you manage to express exactly how i feel sometimes , you manage to put down my feelings in words without even knowing it , and this makes me happy , even if it is sad ! x

    ReplyDelete

I love reading your comments, so feel free to share your opinions and your stories! However, comments are moderated so that I won't experience undue harassment or humiliation; if your comment is hateful or offensive, it won't be published.