I’m sure I was born under a bad sign.
Today, my wonderful, loving, caring mother spilled a full cup of extremely hot tea with very little milk all over my legs. I screamed like a cartoon character and leapt up from the kitchen chair. My sister was there shouting at me to take off my tights but my brain was operating at a ridiculously slow pace out of pain and it took me a minute to process the advice. I spent the next ten minutes in the shower dowsing my poor thighs in cold water.
The redness is gone down now and my lower limbs have been treated to a nice dose of E45 moisturiser. Hallelujah.
My mother feels awfully guilty. She offered to buy me a tin of cider. (I declined but now I’m thinking that cider would cool me down nicely.) She’s also going to make me a sandwich. She will be Slave Mother for the next few hours. Serves her right. I am effectively a victim of child abuse.
What bothered me most about the incident was that my white dress (pictured here) was stained and therefore unwearable. I’m now wearing pyjamas and a hoody. I’m going out in a bit and I have nothing to wear. Wonderful. Well, no. Tragic really.
Also, I think my gums are collapsing which is a weird and frightening feeling. The bit behind my back molar on the right side of my upper gob feels as though it’s been burned by hot food or something, only it hasn’t. It definitely feels as though it has depleted. Perhaps I have scurvy. Gum disease runs in my family so I’m extra paranoid about my teeth and oral hygiene and that. I’m going straight to the dentist Monday morning. It would be more than flesh and blood could stand if all my teeth started falling out. Eww.
All accidents and emergencies aside, I feel sort of alright. The weather’s crap and I wish I was at Oxegen or at least dressed up and consuming copious amounts of alcohol somewhere. But no matter. Could be worse. Sandwich and cider, please. Then my life shall be sort of complete.