A blog post to express my utter disgust and contempt for the world. Bad day, this. Today I had my first moment of feeling genuinely terrified about the Leaving and college and stuff. Maybe it is possible for me to scrape 405 points and for the points in UL to remain static and for me to actually manage to get my number one on the CAO. And maybe it’s possible for me to get through this whole bastard of a frustrating and depressing process of online application without choosing nine other courses that I really do not want to do. Awh, Limerick, please be a good girl and don’t start messing with a good thing, bbz. We need each other, Limerick, me and you. We should be together. Ughhhh.
Poverty is a bit of a pain, isn’t it? I’ll be one seriously lucky bunny if I manage to get accommodation in Lovely Luimneach at all. And Mother Dearest couldn’t give a damn. She genuinely doesn’t get why I can’t/ won’t go to WIT. Ehh, might be something to do with the fact that there’s not a single course there that I’m even faintly interested in. No? Eff off, Angie.
I spent the entire weekend doing homework and Monday evening, I can’t do a thing. It’s quarter past eight and I swear all I’m going to do is that contextualisation question and go to bed. The sooner this day is over. And ‘contextualisation’ should not even be a word. It offends my ears.
Also, that blasted medication has decided to stop working, for no reason at all. Bloody infuriating. (D’ya geddit?)
Got school hoody today then, innit. It’s grey. And nice. Also got HEAR thing. ‘Course I’m so simple in the brain, it means nothing to me, like. And that DARE thing is a bit of a pain too. Ever feel like you want to press pause on your life, get a bit of shuteye and resume but at a slower pace? Well, I have that. This Sixth Year thing is happening way too fast. I’m actually beginning to get stressed. Eww. I am not a nice stressed person. I don’t get stressed like normal people too. I get all addled in the brain and cry a lot and become really philosophical but in the dreariest way possible. It’s horrible really.
If money was no object I’d be going on a little adventure soon and it would be the cutest thing. And it might just make me swoon or something. And, y’know, be in a continually lovey dovey mood. That’d be nice, although unlikely. Whatever happens, I have about enough to contend with as it is. So whatevssssss.
Test tomorrow on the Tuisil Gineadach. (That’s fair not even spelt properly.) Test on Wednesday on Newgrange. Chemistry experiment tomorrow, which, no, I did not read. PE tomorrow? Oh God. Kill me now. If my tracksuit’s still on the missing list in the morning, I refuse to accept blame for my lack of participation in Physical Education. My mother’s on the missing list – blame her, the witch.
Having some bizarre nightmares lately. Arguments and that. And one about Skins as well, which was nice, albeit sinister. Roll on 28th January though, please. I do miss Freddie. He used to remind me of someone. I hope he won’t anymore. Cannot handle more miserable thoughts.
What I wouldn’t give to avoid this History homework, pawn it off on someone else. I actually have a headache from this bad mood. Irksome or wha’? Handed up that History project today. Hazel and I went and tracked down that darling of a woman, Ms Doherty, and the look of surprised delight on her face when we handed her our projects.
Pretty much had me in high spirits until quarter past eleven when I’d to go see Ms Grace and she was in full swing teacher mode. Almost broke my heart listening to her. I sounded like I was malfunctioning, I said ‘yep’ in a such a ridiculously sickly sweet voice that many times.
Then German grammar class. If that’s not bothersome of a Monday morning, I dunno what is. Something about adjectival endings. I like taking notes. I think they look nice. Not so keen on learning them though.
Chemistry simply baffles me. Once upon a time I really did love science and I have no idea why that was. First Year science was the best thing ever. Sixth Year chemistry takes the good out of my day, watching the clock from five to eleven, thinking that this is the longest five minutes of my life.
Yeah, so my phone’s acting the bastard lately as well. Like, if I text someone and don’t get a reply for ages, I start to get suspicious so I turn off my phone and turn it on again and then I get about three or four texts at once. I don’t have the time for this kinda carry on, naw mean? Ughh.
‘Very Kirsten Dunst’. God, if only.
Good things about today? Well, it’s nearly over. And I pretty much got asked on a ‘date’, innit. And I think Amy’s getting me that teapot necklace (I’m so into gold lately). And the hoodies were good. And mine and Hazel’s screaming thing. HILAR. And I’m exhausted so I’ll definitely sleep tonight, unlike last night where I was lying the wrong way in the bed staring at the dark ceiling until all hours. Hate trying to sleep on a Sunday night. Most futile endeavour ever.
Right, that’s it: I’m going to do my History. Ughhh.