I have a dizzying headache. A sit down before you fall down kind of headache. I don’t like it.
I have some things I’d like to say to the world at large in an anonymous, passive-aggressive kind of way. (And I have no problem admitting that this is what it is.)
1. Perhaps some day you could listen to my problems without referring back to your own and giving yourself stupid advice (under the pretence of giving me advice that I blatantly don’t need). That sort of thing is very boring now. It used to be sort of amusing. But it’s borderline irritating at this stage. And that’s being generous, by the way.
2. Stop talking to me and expecting an answer. I’m not going to talk to you. I don’t miss you. You are stupid and bumbling and idiotic and I fear I may go insane if I ever have to hold a conversation with you again. Stop thinking that we’re okay when you can’t even genuinely apologise to my face.
3. You pretty much used and abused, didn’t you? You know it and I know it. But it doesn’t bother me as much as it should. Because maybe I was doing the same thing, almost unbeknownst to myself. Almost. Anyway, I’m sorry you had to witness the Emma Norris of these last few months. Not a pretty sight, clearly. Then again, if you didn’t want to wait around to see the better me then maybe you aren’t worth these thoughts anyway.
5. Why do I still care? Why won’t you just vanish? Not from real life, just from my head and my memories. I’m not able for these memories. They will surely be my end.
6. I absolutely despise how obvious you are. Do you not understand that your literary references are pretty easy to interpret and that the whole world knows who you’re talking about? Me included. But you don’t care because I can’t prove anything. I used to think you were so sweet but it’s obvious now that you and your friends will do anything you see as necessary to get what you want, regardless of who you hurt. And you obviously don’t mind that you broke my heart twice and continue to tug on my heartstrings every time I read one of your stupid sentiments on the internet. And I sincerely hope you’re reading this and know that I’m talking to/about you. You deserve this. And what goes around, comes around, etc. You deserve whatever you get.
7. He doesn’t like you. He never really did. He was using you all along. You could have been anyone. I wish you knew that. Then maybe you wouldn’t be so smug. You think you’re one of the boys and you think they all respect you for it. They don’t. You’re ugly. And hairy. Go away. Please.
8. I love you. You have made these last few months so much easier and I’m forever indebted to you. How understanding you are, how sweet. I know you’re always looking out for me and that means so much. I hope you know that if you ever needed me, I’d be there in a heartbeat.