I’m in a bad mood. Today was fine but I’ve had a nap and woken up cranky and am in no mood to do homework. And my knees are so sore still. And they’re getting worse, ‘cause they’re sore when I’m sitting down now and they’re not even in any weird (or magic) positions. Having to bend down in school to get books out of my bag or whatever just broke my heart. I take pain personally and it feels like my knees have a vengeance against me. I feel so old with my dodgy joints. And I sound like my sister with all my ailments. (I also look like my sister, apparently. Since I’m getting older and my face is getting older. I think this is a compliment, because my sister is quite pretty.)
I love how quickly you change your mind about me. How one minute, I’m wonderful and you want to spend every minute with me, and in another instant, you can barely look at me. I don’t love that – I was being sardonic. It kills me really, that I owe you nothing but I still run around after you like I do. Why do I bother? Every day I’m bracing myself to see you with other people so that I can finally say to myself, ‘I am wasting my time’. But you are much too clever and I keep missing out on those moments of realisation. Not realisation, no, because I already know what you’re like. More like persuasion. So that I’ll finally just believe those moments and believe that your personality will always manifest itself in these sordid ways. Ughh.
This weekend has to be productive. On some level, please. I have to make a decent start on my painting for Art and I have to do my History project first draft. I have to. And if I do nothing other than those two things, that’s okay. But I have to do them. Okay? Okay.
Going out for Hannah’s birthday on Saturday. I wanted an excuse. Can I trust myself to act with some decorum and not steal more alcohol from Michael? I don’t know. Probably not. But if I’m trying to impress anyone, I needn’t worry because they’ve already seen me in a suitably inebriated state. Which is just as well really. Hate having to hide the madness, ha.
I have to go to the doctor’s tomorrow about my knees and my face. I hope he doesn’t want to look at my knees. I’ll be all like, ‘Nah, boi. They be private organs’. :/
Hopefully borrowing Twilight (book & film) from Hazel tomorrow too, to keep me occupied over the weekend in case everything else falls by the wayside. I’m looking forward to getting on this bandwagon and seeing what the hype is actually about. Anyway, I don’t know when I last read a book of any description. This should be interesting. Aren’t I great?
Ya know the way there’s bands and artists you like and then there’s ones that really mean something to you? Yeah. That’s nice. I like that. Modest Mouse, Belle & Sebastian, Rilo Kiley and Bright Eyes. I love them like family.
Damn it, I’m getting fatter.
‘Emma Desperate’ shur.
Christmas will be something of a disaster this year, I think. Poverty and that. I’m getting a camera though. Which is exciting. I’m really happy about it, to be honest. And Christmas dinner is probably the highlight. But it’s all a bit boring, isn’t it? St Stephen’s Night and New Year’s Eve. They’re all I’m actually looking forward to. Everything/ everyone else can go away. Dinner, drunk times, photos and my friends. Thank you very much. Few girly sessions at my house too, please. Thanks.
Speaking of nice photos and drunk times, there’s me and Hazel at Lisa’s eighteenth. I do love Hazel. Borris 4 Basil. <3
I just discovered these emoticons and only for they’re so hilarious, I wouldn’t be posting them. I do love bunnies. They sort of remind me of Bunny Suicides and those bunnies on Angry Alien. N’awhh. (:
That’s it, I think. Fo’ now. Mind yerselves, yeah? x