Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Routine and Low Blood Sugar and Blonde, Frizzy Hair.

Bed early tonight, I think. Clean sheets and clean me and QI and whatever happens tomorrow, happens.

There's too much on my mind. And yet nothing at all.

I would really love a deep and meaningful conversation. Whatever happened to those?

Monday, July 27, 2009

Honesty, Please.

The mood I'm in calls for a bit of honesty. I don't even care who reads this at this stage. I'm tired of pretending everything is fine and dandy when, deep down, it isn't. Of course it isn't. I'm a mess. A wreck. And I'm terrified. I'm not able for London, you're right. I'm not even able for Carrick. I'm falling apart at the seams, really I am. No, I'm not. I only think I am. What is wrong with me? Eugh.


Fuck it.



Yellow. Skirt. Black shoes. Kerry Godliman. Digestive biscuits. Being oblivious. Being in love. Blonde hair. Getting ready for a film audition. Looking like I belong in ABBA. Planning things that should never, ever cross my mind. Smart. My brother. My sister. Aisling. I need new music. Laptop. South Park. Being asleep. Vodka. Dancing to every song under the sun. Laughing. Pears. Not crying. Eugh.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

hungover

The last two nights have been some craic. I jest you not. Family is one of those things, isn't it? Session in Fiddown Friday night with my family and Red Hot John's eighteenth last night. Hilarity ensued. As far as I'm concerned, the whole weekend has been one big barrel of laughs. I love it. I love everything.

Beginning to think that this blog will turn into something of a hangover blog. I usually feel the urge to blog when I'm hungover... Currently, my head is pounding and I am sweating like a pig. All in good fun. The parentals think I'm being anti-social because I've declined thier offer to join them for an overpriced Sund'y dinner in Ceallacháin's. Harsh? Meh. Anyway, I'm not anti-social but I am dying. So yeah. No dinner for me. Hoorah. Hmm. Doggy-bag style?

Need to clean my room. Filthy.

I have nothing to write about... This is killing me.

Emo tablets and Agnes. I may actually go insane. Entirely. Ughh. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Shit Talk 101

Summer seems to me as though it is drawing to a close. It doesn't especially bother me that I did nothing at all in any way exciting other than camp out the back with Dillon in the rain and travel to London and faint a few times, but it does bother me that thus far I have not revised my German oral work. Must do that...

I am looking forward to Sixth Year in a way that to even me seems bizarre. Bloody well looking forward to life. Have very nearly decided upon UCLan for college. And am making myself laugh just thinking about it. I really can't wait until the whole epoch kicks off.

I am blonde now. Who'd have thunk it? Very exciting.

I actually have nothing at all to write about, do I?

Going pubbing (finally!) with the brother tonight before his departure on Sunday. Ought to mention to him at some stage over the course of the evening's festivities that he is paying for my Debs dress. Stupid Debs. (:

Peculiar weather out. Hmm. I miss Xbox. And Paul the dog, mine and Dillon's span new friend. He likes menstruation. Paul, not Dillon.

Spilled orange juice all over my bed the other night. It now smells like piss. Living in the fucking Dark Ages in this house. Must go to dry cleaners...

Looking forward to tomorrow night's thing with Aisling. Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. Ah, the fond memories of laughing uproariously at the Paki who they all picked on, while surrounded by unassuming twelve year olds. Eep. Hilarity.

Should really go to the doctor to get those blood test results.

Anyone know a cheap DJ, by the way? Hateee planning things.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I'm listening to Abba's Greatest Hits CD and it's put me in the best mood. Even though I'm not getting my hair done (darn!) and I have no money and the weather's shit and I have no clothes and all the rest, I think I'm happy. Even if only for this moment in time. Eeeep.

Have to go to the doctor's on Monday to get a blood test. Why do I keep fainting? Hmm. Yesterday's one was a bit shit.

Psychiatrists/ psychologists are some pain in the hole. I am deadly serious.

I want alcohol.

I now have 703 'friends' on Myspazz. I think I am now officially a loser.

Oh well.

I love this song...

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

elasticity.

simply a word to fill a space.

and now a few sentences to fill time:

Photoshop's not all it's cracked up to be. However, it was completely and utterly free so I won't complain. No idea how to use it though. Help?

The brother has returned. I still get so excited. Why, I don't know. I'm still at home on my own.

Everyone's going to Oxegen then, yeah? Do send a postcard. I'll stay here. I'll look after the mundane (mundance?) on your behalf.

Funny mood. Old music. Bed. Nothing to do really.

Is this me being ignored all over again? Don't know how to deal with this. Not now.

Hungry? I refuse and refute and all the rest.

Wouldn't mind a bit of idle conversation now. Or a few driving lessons.

Damn it, my life feels like it's at a standstill. Whatever became of all the drama and excitement that once was?

Oh, let it be my birthday and let me have a job. I promise to be tough and strong and a lesbian, if the need arises.

I think I am bored of everything. Perhaps I should go for a walk? Euchh.

Yankland brother may as well still be in Yankland. As for that other Yank... Lighten up. Whatever happened to all the Transatlantic enthusiasm that once was?

Hmm. Corconian adventures, please. Perhaps a visit from my English person.

No more stupid nightmares about cakes and baldness, just pleasantness in every nook and cranny of my life. Thank you very much.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Conclusions.

I have come to the conclusion that no matter how much more time I spend (and I have spent a lot already) trying to find a cohesive/ corrosive way to put a song of my choosing in the background while you read this, my chances of succeeding are slim. Sometimes the World Wide Web really is a pain, is it not?

Damn it, I've been outted. Shit. Shitty shit shit. Being forced to lie, to swear on Grandad's grave. I don't mind because I don't know Grandad and he could just be a figment of all our imaginations. I'm pretty useless at lying. Damn.

My mother is a brat. Damn.

Cannot wait to go to college. I think we'll all be a lot calmer.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

one rather dull moment in time.

I painted my nails and they're chipped already.

Last night was a bit strange. I'm too loud, far too loud. And peculiar. If only it were in a charming, endearing way. Alas, I am but a social retard. Oh well.

At least no one's dead or pregnant.

We all remain better friends at a slight distance.

Wouldn't mind a Chinese now. Or blondeness. Or Nerd Glasses. These things are running through my night's sleep. Well, not the Chinese bit.

What a strange day...

Dreading tomorrow. Hate Sundays. Also hate the great patriarch. Am beginning to, at least.

I wonder what it feels like to not want for anything. Is it then time to die?

Have an urge to learn how to drive. That brother of mine better teach me. Really looking forward to seeing him this week. (:

Debs dress. Ugh.

Job job job.

I am beginning to brainwash myself.

Need a holiday, I think. Bit of silence, maybe?

Have a mouth ulcer. Mm.

Where are the parentals?

Who will dance with the tinker's daughter?

I like being at my sister's house because it's very nice and pretty and cosy and all that but there is literally nothing to do there except sit quietly, eat or look at her clothes with envy. Fiddown is a hole. Sorry, but it is.

Will I miss Carrick? I'll miss knowing my way around but that's about the extent of it. Bleh.

I keep asking for book recommendations but, honest to God, I can't even read. I have lost the patience and the intrigue. Strangely, have developed something of a liking for blogging. Which is a pity, a real pity. Everyone will know everything. I have no sense of keeping things to myself. There are some things that you really shouldn't announce to the internet at large but I never really know what those things are. Hmm. This will be the death of me. Then again, I said cider farts would be the death of me but I'm still standing, if a little bowleggedly.

Good Things
Tea
Icecream
South Park
Water
Money
Vaseline
That denim purse that turned up again lately
My friends
Bed in the day time

Bad Things
Sneaking around
Bed in the night
The Simpsons
Alcoholic beverages
Fat
Blog

I don't know why but I felt like compiling some class of a list then. I sort of miss the OCD a bit. I'm much less organised and commited these days, if a lot more happy. Hmm.

Sixth Year then, yeah? I probably shouldn't mention it. I'm rather excited about it.

I hate to say it, but today is a bit shit...

Never a dull moment, as they say.
Ugh.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

New hair?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Reactions? I pretty much want to be her now. She is beautiful.

Too much alcohol probably spoils the broth too, you know. Hmm.

Half your age plus seven, darling. Rule of Thumb. Rules are made to be broken. So are thumbs.

London. London. London. That's what you call an adventure.

What lovely weather we're having.

I miss thoroughly enjoying alliteration.

Whatever has gotten into me? I dislike being alone.

Teaparty, anyone?

Emily Dickhead's poetry really is an acquired taste.

Books are difficult lately. Stories, that is. Where have all the facts gone? Dewey Decimal System, show me the way to bountiful knowledge!

Everything is very, very boring all of a sudden.

What a to-do we find ourselves in.

It's pretty nippy out. I feel like sleeping out in the tent tonight. But I won't. Of course I won't - too much of a wimp.

There is nothing to do. Well, there is plenty to do but it's all rather boring.

How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood, and then just be in a good mood?